RenoxTifa Oneshot
by RenoLuvver
Summary: I suck at titles, you may have figured that out. P At least it's clear and to the point. Anyhow, this was a request made long ago by The Sacred and the Profane. I finally wrote it. There is implied TsengxElena as much as I am against it. P


_Author's Note: So as you have probably noticed, this is a RenoxTifa oneshot. I wrote it by request for The Sacred and the Profane, one of my loyal readers. =) Poor guy, he was so patient for this story! He asked me to write it for him like a week after I started posting my first story, and I did start writing it then, but it seems I can only focus on one story at a time. So sadly his fell by the wayside and I was only able to finish it once I had finished my other story! But just as I promised him, as soon as I finished the other story it didn't take me long to write this. Now just to clarify, I do no really like the RenoxTifa pairing at all. I really don't like it in the slightest. So don't expect me to be writing stories pairing the two of them. I just love RenoxElena, so I will hardly spare time for anything else. Maybe a tiny bit of RenoxYuffie, which I'm ok with. xD I'm just a little picky. =P _

_Anyway, pretty much 95% of the ideas for this story were actually The Sacred and the Profane's, so that credit must go to him. I only wrote it. =P I honestly could not have done it without those helpful ideas from him. For some reason my brain is incapable of coming up with stuff involving RenoxTifa. Probably because I don't care for it. =P Anywho, HERE IS YOUR ONESHOT, The Sacred and the Profane!!! PLEASE ENJOY IT!!! CAPITAL LETTERS ARE SO MUCH FUN!!!! xD_

Reno wrapped an arm around Tifa's shoulders and pulled her closer. She snuggled up to him and laid her head on his shoulder, staring up at the starry night sky. The two were sitting on the apartment roof.

"That one is the brightest," Reno said, pointing to an extremely average star. Tifa frowned at it.

"No it's not. There's nothing special about that star," she shook her head and pointed in a different direction, "_That _is the brightest star."

Reno simply stared at the brightly twinkling star for several seconds before shifting suddenly. Without the support, Tifa fell back. Her martial artist's reflexes saved her head from a nasty bump however.

"Why'd you do that?" she demanded, glaring at the red-head pouting next to her.

"My star is the _best_ and you know it. I hate your star."

"Oh come on, Reno! It doesn't matter. It's just a star." Reno didn't answer. He continued pouting and watched the sky with his arms crossed. Tifa sighed.

"Why do you have to act like a five-year-old all the time?" Still no answer. She huffed and pulled her knees up, looking up at the stars. Two could play at this game.

A brilliant light came into view and carved a path across the sky.

"A shooting star," Reno said, traces of his pout evident in his voice, "Make a wish."

_I wish he wouldn't act so immature all the time._ Tifa cast a glance in the red-headed Turk's direction.

_I wish she would loosen up. _Reno thought about the disapproving look Tifa wore most often. They sat in silence as the shooting star slowly disappeared. Seconds later, Tifa stood up.

"Come on, it's late and you have to go to work in the morning." Reno got up with an exaggerated groan.

"I don't wanna," he wined as Tifa practically dragged him downstairs, "I should call in sick. Or you could call and tell them I developed an incredible allergic reaction to air. Or I tripped and fell out the window and I'm in the hospital. Or-"

"Reno!" Tifa cut him off abruptly, "You are going into work tomorrow on time. You will not call in with any weird problem and I certainly won't call for you either."

"Chill out, Tifa," Reno laughed softly and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, "I'm just joking."

_When isn't he joking?_ Tifa rolled her eyes but laid her head back on his chest and closed her eyes. She reached a strong arm up and gently pulled his head down to press a kiss to his lips.

Shuffling sounds woke Tifa early the next morning. She squinted in the small amount of sunlight coming through the window. Reno was pulling his jacket on.

"Reno?" Tifa was surprised, he never got up before nine, "What are you doing?" He turned and smiled at her.

"I thought I'd go into work a little early and get some extra paperwork done. You should get up too, the day isn't getting any younger!"

"Aw, don't go," Tifa whined, grabbing his arm and holding on tight.

"I can't. Tseng won't let me have any more days off."

"Tseng's a bitch," she pouted, still keeping a good grip on him.

"That's not a very nice thing to say, Tifa," Reno grinned down at her, "Come on, let go of my arm. I've got to go."

"No!" A wicked smile adorned her face.

"Tifa…" Reno raised an eyebrow.

"Come on!" she pleaded like a child, "At the very least you could stay for breakfast." She looked up at him with her big brown eyes.

"Oh ok, I guess a bit longer won't matter."

"Yay!" Tifa shouted leaping to her feet and jumping up and down on the bed, "I'll make breakfast!"

"Cereal?" Reno stood in the doorway a look of mild disbelief on his face. Tifa had refused to allow him into the kitchen so it would be a "surprise". He had come in when she'd called him, only to be met with two bowls of cereal on the table. The milk and several boxes of cereal were still out on the counter, which was littered with spilled cereal and small puddles of milk.

"Not what I was expecting, but ok," Reno sat down.

"You hate it! Why don't you just say so!" Tifa's beaming face quickly turned into a frown. She crossed her arms and turned her back to him.

"Aw, no I don't. It's great." At this reassurance, Tifa's smile returned instantly and she hopped into her seat and ate a massive spoonful of cereal at once. Reno just watched, a strange expression on his face as he watched her do nothing about the milk trickling down her chin. Turning to his own bowl of cereal, he looked at it carefully. Tifa seemed to have mixed together every kind of cereal they had, which produced a very odd looking breakfast.

"Is that…chocolate milk?" He asked, peering at the spoonful he had in front of his face. Tifa nodded vigorously.

"It's better that way!" This sentence was punctuated by a small burp. Tifa giggled. Reno politely overlooked it. Deciding it was better than nothing, he went ahead and ate the strange breakfast that had been prepared for him. Tifa continued eating her cereal messily, burping frequently, her giggles turning into all out laughter. Reno attempted to ignore her antics, but as her belching became louder and louder and clearly purposeful, he started to get annoyed.

"Please stop that, Tifa," he finally said, "It's extremely impolite."

"I'll try," she held back giggles, the insincerity obvious in her voice and on her face.

"At least don't tonight, Tseng and Elena are coming over for dinner, don't forget. What are you going to cook, by the way?" Reno questioned, nervously glancing down at the last meal she had prepared. Tifa shrugged.

"Dunno. I'll get to that when I get to it!"

"Why don't you call me when you've decided what to cook? Tell me what you're making, uh, before you start making it," Reno got up from his chair and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek before heading for the door.

"Oh, I _will_ call you!" Tifa called after him, eyes twinkling.

Tseng stood in the doorway of his office with a coffee cup in his hand, staring at Reno. Rude got up from his desk and went to stand next to him. They both watched as the redhead was busily scribbling away at his paperwork.

"It's been several hours now," Tseng whispered to Rude, "I'm beginning to think it's not a prank."

"It has to be," Rude said, "Why else would he be working?" Tseng shrugged.

"Has he been hit hard on the head? Maybe he has a concussion. Let me know if he starts acting weird. Well…weirder." With this Tseng went back into his office.

"Hey, Elena could you get me copies of the paperwork on that last mission? I know you said you'd fill it out, but we both went so I thought we both should fill out copies," Reno looked up briefly from the paper in front of him.

"Uh…sure," Elena stared at him blankly, completely confused as to why he was acting this way.

"_Today_, Elena, if you don't mind," Reno said, looking up to find her still staring at him a minute later, "Thank you!"

"What's up with Reno?" Elena went into Tseng's office after getting the copies to Reno, slipping the door closed behind her, "I don't know what the heck he's doing!"

"I have no idea," Tseng shrugged.

"Maybe I should run over and ask Tifa what kind of a prank he's up to now. We want to be prepared."

"Good idea. Come report as soon as you get back."

"Will do." Elena mock saluted, and then blew a kiss before leaving.

Tifa was sitting on the couch, in her pajamas, eating potato chips and reading through a whole stack of gossip magazines. The house was more than a bit messy and she wasn't doing anything to help. Instead she was getting chip crumbs all over herself, the couch, and the floor. She was in the middle of a particularly juicy article when the doorbell rang.

"Who could that be?" she glanced in the direction of the door, but could just barely see it from where she was, "Oh, probably no one important." She ignored it, even though the bell was rung several times. Finally whoever it was started knocking loudly on the door, and calling Tifa's name. _Sounds like Elena…_ A wonderful idea popped into the girl's head. Grinning she slipped off the couch and hid behind a chair in the corner so she was almost completely invisible.

_Now if I know Elena…_ Sure enough, the other girl's voice started calling her name louder and louder, and began to sound concerned. Finally the knob rattled and Tifa knew the female Turk would be picking the lock. The door opened and then closed again and footsteps sounded in the hall.

"Tifa?" Elena called, worried by the lack of response. From her hiding spot, Tifa held back her laughter admirably well as she listened to her friend's footsteps going from room to room, her name being called every so often. Tifa could see Elena's shoes as the Turk walked into the room she was hiding in.

"Surprise!" Tifa shouted, suddenly jumping from behind the chair. Elena was startled and whirled, her hand institutively going for her gun. She relaxed when she saw it was just Tifa.

"Why were you hiding? You worried me! I thought something had happened to you when you didn't answer."

"Yeah, I could tell you were worried but I wanted to surprise you!"

"If you could tell I was upset you shouldn't have kept hiding. Anyway, I came to ask about Reno." Tifa looked slightly confused so Elena continued. "Maybe you don't know about it, but he's randomly doing all his work, really well too. We have no idea what he's up to. I came to see if you knew anything about it."

"No, I don't. You think he's pranking you guys?! Awesome! I can't wait, I bet it's going to be awesome!" Tifa's eyes went wide and she looked extremely excited.

"Uh…" Elena couldn't think of anything to say. Her friend was acting very strange as well. _Maybe the two of them are playing this joke on us._ _Well, we can use this to our advantage! _Elena internally smirked. "Ok then, if you don't know what Reno is up to I'll just be getting back then. Nice seeing you, Tifa!" Elena waved and moved toward the door.

"Wait!" Tifa cried, jumping forward and grabbing Elena's arm, "You can't go yet. Let's play a game Hide and Seek! You're it!" Elena stuttered for a moment as the dark haired girl dashed away instantly.

"I can't play Hide and Seek, I have to go back to work."

"Aw, come on! Please!" Tifa whined, dropping to her knees to beg, "We don't have to play Hide and Seek. How about dress-up? We can play dress-up!" Elena was constantly surprised at the amazing acting skills being displayed.

"No, I can't play any games, I just said I have to go back to work. I'll see you for dinner though. Thanks for inviting us."

"Fine! If you _have _to go work. Are you sure? Work is so boring," Tifa pouted in the doorway.

"Yes, I'm sure. See you tonight," Elena smiled and walked out the door, determined not to give her friends the pleasure of seeing her crack even though it was oddly unnerving seeing them act so differently.

"Reno, what are you doing?" Tseng stood in the doorway to his office, entirely perplexed. Rude came to stand next to him. They both were watching Reno as he carefully rearranged every piece of furniture in the room, nudging desks a few inches this way, and a few inches that way.

"I'm reorganizing the room to increase efficiency," Reno replied, standing back to critically examine his work, "I came up with a set up that would improve everyone's efficiency by about forty-six percent." Here he waved a paper with drawings of the office scrawled on it. "Would you like me to arrange your office as well, Tseng? It could drastically improve your overall performance."

"Um, no thanks," Tseng turned to Rude who just shrugged and went back to his desk now that Reno was done moving it around. Just as the redhead began to critically eye the items on the top of Rude's desk, his phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket and answered it promptly.

"Hello?" A muffled snicker came from the other end.

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I just caught it," the deep voice on the other end was clearly being faked.

"That's not how the joke goes, Tifa," Reno said. Silence.

"How did you know it was me?" she demanded.

"Caller ID." Silence again.

"Oh." There was a small click as she disconnected the call. Realizing she was gone, he snapped the phone closed and set it on his desk as he got back to his paperwork. Seconds later the phone rang again. Sighing he picked it up.

"What is it?" He asked wearily.

"I hung up on you!" Tifa burst into hysterical laughter.

"Yes, I noticed that," he waited a moment and when the laughter showed no signs of stopping anytime soon, spoke again, "If that's all you have to say, I'm going to go now. I need to work now, Tifa, so please don't call again unless it's important ok?"

"Sure," she was still laughing when he hung up. Elena walked in about now, pausing as soon as she came in the door, looking around the room startled, rearranged as it was.

"Oh hi, Elena. I organized the room to max out our efficiency. I hope you don't mind, but I rearranged the contents of your desk as well. I realize this will make you work slower at first since you won't know where anything is, but in the long run it will be for the best." With this greeting, Reno looked up and smiled briefly, quickly going back to his work.

"Um, ok," Elena made her way into Tseng's office, "I talked to Tifa."

"Yes?" Tseng looked up eagerly.

"She's doing it too. Only she's acting like…a little kid or something."

"Oh dear," Tseng groaned, "I wonder if they'll be like this all night. Dinner will be quite an interesting event."

"Yeah," Elena mulled over this for a bit, "Then again, what can you expect from Reno and Tifa? Specifically Reno." Tseng chuckled.

"You're right. Well we'll just bear through it as best we can. If we don't react, they'll get bored eventually."

"Exactly. Now I need to get some work done before Reno outdoes me!"

Reno looked at Tifa who was seated across from him at the table with consternation. She had just proudly smacked a plate of hotdogs down on the table.

"Mustard, ketchup," she announced bluntly, placing the named items down.

"I like hotdogs," Elena said, shrugging and taking a bite. Tseng followed her example quickly. Tifa had already crammed a whole half of one into her mouth. Glancing from Tifa, to Elena, to Tseng, Reno finally began to eat as well.

Tifa munched away busily, bored instantly by the conversation that had struck up between the other three. She really wasn't paying attention to it. It sounded like something dull, serious, and no-nonsense. What fun was that? In the blur of words that she was mostly blocking out, her name suddenly caught her attention, and she looked up. Everyone was watching her expectantly. Clearly someone had asked her a question. She opened her mouth to suggest they talk about candy instead, but all that came out was a very long and loud belch. Plastering her hands over her mouth in an attempt to conceal the giggles, Tifa cast a glance at Reno, knowing he wasn't going to be happy. She was right. He looked quite ashamed, but didn't say anything about it, instead he picked the conversation up again.

Tifa listened intently to the first few words, but lost interest immediately. She started doodling on the paper napkins she had thrown on the table earlier. She drew stick figure representations of everyone at the table in a variety of activities from jumping off buildings, to driving down the street. When she noticed Elena's attention had been caught, Tifa eagerly leaned toward the other girl.

"Do you want to have a contest to see who can burp the loudest?" she asked excitedly. The whole table went dead quite.

"Um, no thanks," Elena said.

"Are you sure?" Tifa continued, disappointed.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Tifa opened her mouth to plead some more, when Reno poked her under the table. She snapped her mouth closed and slid low in her seat, pouting and crossing her arms.

The strange dinner party was over before long, much to almost everyone's relief. Tifa had plopped down on the couch to watch cartoons the moment the guests were out of the house. Reno had simply looked at her for a moment and then cleaned up the kitchen which was still a mess from that morning.

"Reno, are you going to bed?" Tifa called, hearing him go up the stairs several minutes later.

"Yes, I have to go to work in the morning. Don't stay up too late, it's not good for you. Neither is watching too much TV. Good night."

"Night." Tifa watched cartoon after cartoon, forgetting to glance at the clock every now and then until she slowly drifted to sleep, curled up on the couch with the remote in front of her.

Reno wrinkled his nose and rolled over when the sun streaming in the window woke him up. Just as he was falling asleep again, his alarm clock rang shrilly, startling him wide awake.

"Shut the hell up!" he screamed at it, ripping the cord from the wall and throwing the whole thing across the room. Flopping back down again, he stared up at the ceiling, groaning when he realized there was no getting back to sleep now. Noticing something abruptly, he turned to where Tifa should be, wondering why she was gone. She wasn't a late sleeper, but she definitely didn't get up early either. Thinking of Tifa reminded him of his dream. _That was weird._ It had been completely unnerving. He didn't remember all the details, but it was surprisingly vivid. _Tifa…acting so immature. _He hadn't liked it at all. Getting up, he went downstairs to look for Tifa.

Finding her on the couch fast asleep, Reno moved the remote, turning the TV off. He scooped Tifa up and sat down, setting her in his lap. The movement woke her up, and she looked up at him and smiled.

"Morning," she yawned. A small frown appeared on her face. "I had a really strange dream last night."

"Me too," Reno said.

"You were all serious and insistent on getting to work and doing your work and all sorts of odd things!"

"You know that's funny because I dreamed you were acting like a little kid. You were really immature." The two just looked at each other for a minute.

"Well I'm glad it was just a dream," Tifa said, smiling, "I love you just the way you are."

"And I wouldn't want you any other way," Reno kissed her softly, "Although I would probably take you even if you were annoying because you're so damn sexy."

Tifa just rolled her eyes and grinned, shutting him up with another kiss.

_Author's Note: So I hope this was acceptable. =P I shall write another RenoxElena story soon for those of you who got all excited when you saw I had a new story, but then maybe were a little disappointed when you saw it was for a fan pairing you might not like as much as another...=P I know a lot of people out there really like this fan pairing, but if I don't like it then there must be other people who don't like it either. xD Anyhow...I will post something soon. Probably oneshots for a bit while I work out the details of my new chapter story!!! Until then faithful readers, I bit you a very fond farewell! *hugs the world* _


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